... just like riding a bike

there are certain things in life you're not supposed to ever forget - for instance, your name, your birthday, your first kiss, how to ride a bike...  wait a second, how to ride a bike? 

I'm a failure, I remember being taught how to ride a bike.  TWICE.

If I've already failed at bike riding, something EVERYONE knows you're not supposed to forget, is it possible that I've forgotten how to chew gum?  Seriously?

If someone were to poke around inside my mouth right now, at this very second, they might think I have a crazy ulcer outbreak or amazonian disease.  But the truth is actually much much worse.  You see, during my 50 day detox/cleanse, I was not allowed to chew gum.  I LOVE chewing gum.  LOVE it.  Have some sick obsession with orbitz gum and always having it in my purse, pocket, bag.  I remember one field day in Peru where I ran the mile and blew bubbles the entire time - one missionary lady came up and commented that she'd never seen someone blowing bubbles on their third lap before! (I must've been about 10 years old...)

Confession time:  I stopped chewing gum for 50 days and I forgot how to do it.  Now every time - literally, that I put a piece of gum into my mouth, I chomp on my cheek, lip, tongue.  Yesterday I was seriously worried that I might need to get a stitch in the tongue to stop the bleeding - or stick an earring through it and say it was done on purpose.

WHO FORGETS HOW TO CHEW GUM??????