lice or rabies?

My grade 2-C class is full to the max.  With only 21 working computers and 26 students - the class turns into chaos as they fight for computers and argue over who gets to wear the headsets.  Most of the class is spent listening to kids yell, "miss misS miSS mISS MISS" until I rush over next to them.  Usually the problem is something simple... a pop-up on their screen or the volume on their headphones is turned down.  I prefer these problems to the constant tattle-telling that goes on.  I even had one kid proudly tell me that yes, he did hit her, but he said he was sorry right afterward (in a tone implying that he could do whatever he wished, so long as he said he was sorry).

Lice or rabies? Which would you prefer?  20 minutes into class, the students brought me their mousepad.  I couldn't figure out the problem, I mean - who cares that there is a black speck on the mousepad?  I reckoned one kid had drawn on it with a pen and really didn't care... and then it moved.  The black speck was MOVING across the mousepad and the kids told me it "fell from her head". . . What the heck???

Two hours later I was doing my mandatory break supervision.  The sandstorm was gone and I had no excuse to play sick.  As I was patrolling the litter ridden playground, looking for misbehaving kids to punish with cleaning duty, I heard "miss misS miSS mISS MISS" and five kids ran over, grabbed ahold of me, and dragged me over to Ali.  This little 6 year old had another child in a death grip and was going all turrets on him.  I pried them apart and Ali turned on me.  Kicking and flailing, I tried to calm him.  All attempts to reason with him were suspended when he turned and BIT me. SERIOUSLY? 

so now I'm left with an itchy scalp and vampire venom coursing through my veins...

will a doppio espresso kill the poison??