Hannah's Step by Step to the other side

Cruise ship employees like to party. work hard, play harder. So you can imagine that after 2 1/2 years of working on ships, i've been to a lot of parties. there are themed parties, holiday parties, karaoke parties, white parties, and no reason parties. And because of the cheap alcohol, most people tend to overindulge. One night Scottie noticed that i never closed the bar or got all crazy and decided to make a Step by Step guide to the other side. He laminated it for me (bars can be messy) and tried to help me through the steps. I never made it to step 10. I'm pretty sure I never tried. BUT, I appreciated the gesture, and for all of you aspiring alcoholics, here you go:

Hannah's Step by Step to the other side

Step 1: Arrive at a party sober and walk to bar to get 1 beer.

Step 2: Drink beer slowly over a 15 min period.

Step 3: Go back to bar within 20 mins to get a Vodka and orange.

Step 4: Sip this little sucker over a 20 min period.

Step 5: Now maybe have a little boogie only 2 songs max we don't want to waste our first two drinks we just had.

Step 6: We should be around the 40 to 45 min mark by now.

Step 7: Now its time to pick up the pace, go get another Vodka and orange try to finish this in a ten min period.

Step 8: Dance hard this helps with getting the alcohol in the system, remmber no more than 3 songs.

Step 9: Report to Scottie.

Step 10: Repeat steps 7 till 9 repeatedly till alcohol runs out.

See you on the other side.

Thanks Scottie for the memory